Day 2

Our morning visit today did not go quite as well as yesterday. When we arrived, Vera's group was outside playing in the same little fenced in area. Her reaction when she saw us was

Tears.

Fear.

Panic.

I was so thankful that she didn't yell at us to go away or anything (another gift from God). She just sat there and cried. Poor baby. Jon and I slowly made our way in, but kept our distance from Vera. We do not want to scare her. The caregiver tried to get Vera to come with us, but she cried harder. So we just stayed there with Vera's little group and watched them play. And she was happy again. She did eventually come play at the table where Jon and I were sitting. As did several other children.

Sasha told us yesterday that for the first few days, the caregivers would let us hang out with Vera's group. But after that, they'll expect us to take Vera and go elsewhere. Us being there makes the other children jealous. We saw that today. Some kids tried to get our attention. In good ways and not so good ways. Some came and sat next to us and tried to talk to us. Remember the one little boy I saw yesterday who is so darling that I wanted to snatch up? The one who is not adoptable? Well, he came over to me, wrapped his little arms around my legs and looked up at me with a charming, adorable smile. Don't cry, Amy. And remember the girl yesterday, the one who reached her arms up to me? (wish I could tell you their names!) Well, Jon is falling for her. When we were ending our visit with Vera yesterday, we had walked her back to where her group was playing outside. Jon sat down on a bench and this same little girl came over, sat next to Jon and got as close as she could to him. She would have sat on him if he had offered. She rested her head on Jon's arm and patted him. I haven't heard her talk yet, but she sure can smile. And her eyes...oh, her eyes. At dinner last night Jon started asking about our approval for two children. This little girl has gotten to him. Don't worry, though. At this point, it's too late to bring home two children together on this trip. But I think Vera will be enough for awhile. She's going to need lots of therapy. I am so anxious to get her home and get her walking easier. The sweet little thing can't stand up straight. She falls quite a bit and struggles to get back up...her little legs are weak. But she never wants help getting back up. She's a tough little thing. It will serve her well.

Would you please say a prayer right now for Vera? I can't imagine how fearful this whole thing must be to her. We came back today. Panic. We're going to take her away from the only life she's ever known. We don't understand much of what she says. It will be harder for her than any of us realize. She lives in a full-time daycare. We saw that today. Tears and tantrums and even a bully in Vera's group. There just aren't enough caregivers to go around. These little ones need mommys and daddys. Vera has no idea what a family is or how to be a part of one. Please pray that Vera would begin to feel peace and safety with us. I know it's going to take time. I know it could take months or even years before she KNOWS that we are her mommy and daddy. That we love her and will protect her. I worry about the day we take Vera and leave her orphanage. I cry now at the thought of how hard it will be for her to say goodbye. I pray that God uses our time here to bond Vera to us. I pray that she feels our love and concern for her. She just doesn't realize what the alternative is. She has no idea that if we weren't here, she would be in an institution. A place like this. Although this clip highlights institutions in Serbia, places like this exist here too. They are a real destination for many orphans here.

We thank God that this is not Vera's future.

But there are SO MANY other children awaiting institutions like this.

Pray, Church.