Please make sure your seatbelts are securely fastened before continuing on our roller coaster. We are about to throw you for a loop. We are still dizzy ourselves. But in the VERY best way! I am about to share with you a story that only God could’ve written. I am just not creative enough to think of this on my own. Oh, how I pray you will read this with hearts open wide. My heart is so full…it overflows. How I pray you will KNOW that we are not making a hasty decision…because it may seem that way. How I pray you will KNOW we did not decide this out of grief or sadness over Leanna…because it may seem that way to some. Believe me when I say, we have questioned that ourselves. When this all began, I asked several out of state friends to pray specifically about what I am about to share. The last thing Jon and I want to do is make a decision based on emotions. The last thing we want to do is set ourselves and the kids (and all of you) up for another heartache. We have prayed and prayed and prayed about this this week and BELIEVE this is God’s plan. I pray you will believe it too.
So, let me share a little story with you.
I had thought about adoption for years before Jon was ready to talk about it. I never pushed him. Hardly ever brought it up. Except to God. Adoption is HUGE and I knew Jon and I needed to be in full agreement that we should do it. It wouldn’t work if I was all in and Jon was on the fence. Throughout all those years of waiting for Jon to get off the fence and jump in, there was always a picture in my head. I had looked at countless orphan websites and countless photos of available children over the years. I get weekly emails from many orphan/adoption ministries. In the fall of 2009 when Jon and I began discussing adoption seriously (before we met Leanna), the picture became a little clearer. Then we met Leanna and you know what happened with that. The picture never entered my mind again.
Until last week when Leanna began having doubts. The same picture from before started coming to me again. Even clearer.
On Monday, someone that I just recently became Facebook friends with posted a picture of a little girl.
IT WAS HER! The girl from the picture in my head. Without a doubt.
My heart stopped and I started sobbing. I NEVER DREAMED there was really a girl that would look like the picture in my head. With all those hours I spent looking at available children to adopt, I was never looking for the girl in my mental picture. I never imagined she was really out there. When Jon and I discussed her Monday night, he said it was freaking him out that I’ve had a picture of this girl in my head all these years. I said it was freaking ME out that there's actually a girl that looks like the picture in my head!
So, her name is Vera and she’ll be 6 in April. She is an orphan in Eastern Europe…been in an orphanage most, if not all of her life. Would you like to see her? She’s just the cutest thing EVER!
So…a little more to the story…
This week I kept asking God WHY He provided all that money a few weeks ago for Leanna’s adoption just to end it like this? It just did not make sense. Remember when I said the only logical conclusion we could come to was that there must be someone else that we’re supposed to adopt? Well, we now have most, if not all, of the money we would need to adopt Vera. In addition to the $16,500 that our agency is refunding to us, there is also a grant for whoever adopts Vera for over $5,000. And get this…there are people RIGHT HERE in the Buford/Sugar Hill/Flowery Branch area, that have been advocating for Vera since the fall of 2009…when Jon and I began discussing adoption. And with all of the websites I’ve been on and all of the photos I’ve looked at, I never saw Vera…until Monday. Coincidence?
We also learned that someone was already in the process to adopt Vera along with two little boys…from what I understand they were actually there, in Europe to complete the adoption. All we know is that they had a family emergency and had to go home and end the adoption process. About the same time that God provided our $16,500, Vera lost her family. Coincidence?
Jon and I discussed adopting Vera on Monday night. Like I said before, we do NOT want to make a hasty decision. Although the picture in my head was evidence enough for me, we knew we could not/should not base our decision on that alone. Tuesday morning Jon dreamed about Vera. He woke up with one thought…we need to go get Vera. Coincidence?
There were a few families interested in adopting Vera and had asked for more information about her. I emailed each family this week and asked about their intentions. My thought was, if anyone is already going after her, there is our answer. Every family emailed me back and said that for various reasons, Vera is not the one for them. I emailed the lady from the website that Vera’s information is posted on and asked the same thing. No one is pursuing Vera. Coincidence?
We have put together a few other things this week that just cannot be coincidences. I don’t believe in coincidences anyway…but if we had not met Leanna, we would not have known about New Horizons. If I had not known about New Horizons, I would not get their Facebook updates. If I did not get their Facebook updates, I never would’ve seen my friend’s comment on one of their posts and said, “Is that the Pam I know?” and become Facebook friends with her. If I had not become Facebook friends with Pam just two months ago, I would not have seen Vera’s photo on Monday…the same day Leanna signed the paper saying she does not want to be adopted. AND…if we had not begun the adoption process last year, we would not be homestudy ready today. And that is a big factor in this. Whoever goes to get Vera needs to act quickly. She is about to be transferred to a mental institution where she would simply rot away because…
Vera has Cerebral Palsy.
Yep. CP. A special needs child. We were NOT thinking about adopting a special needs child. That was the furthest thing from our minds. I mean, US? Special needs? Really? US??? It brings new meaning to our adoption verse…’you would not believe even if you were told.’ Uh…yeah. We would NOT have believed this!
Okay, I know you are likely reeling in your seat. Truthfully, my head is spinning as I write this all out. There are more ‘coincidences’ that I haven’t even shared. It’s like there’s a big flashing, neon sign saying SHE’S THE ONE! I hope I am not the only one who sees it. I will tell you that I have been emailing with several people who have met Vera through adopting their own children with CP. Vera’s CP seems to be mild (whatever that means). Someone watched her climb two flights of stairs holding onto the rail, which is a great indicator of her potential. Speech delays are common with CP…Vera speaks Russian and none of her caregivers seem to have trouble understanding her. Though it could be that they’re just used to her speech. She has hip displasia and will likely need a routine surgery for it. If she has the right resources and therapies, her prognosis seems to be GREAT! I have been in touch with several people who have adopted children with CP and they have given me some great information and things we should be asking and looking for. I contacted the lady who did our homestudy for us and she herself has a daughter from Ukraine who has CP. We knew her daughter was from Ukraine, but didn’t know she has CP. She told me that her daughter is now in high school, on the honor roll and you would never know she has a disability. She gave me the name of the best doctor here in Atlanta, and I will not be surprised to see his name on our list of approved doctors with our insurance. I was also told that because we have so much done already, Vera should be home by June!!
You can read more about Vera here http://reecesrainbow.org/vera19 and here http://iknowyouroutthereimjustwaiting.blogspot.com/.
So, all of this being said, we do still have questions. Although God has provided EVERY SINGLE DIME we have needed so far, why have we spent $17,000 just to take this turn? We do not know. We may never know. But we can look back at many things now and say, “So that’s why that happened.” And the timing with Vera just seems to line up perfectly. But why is God forcing us to make this decision so quickly? Vera’s time in the orphanage is short. She should have been transferred to the mental institution when she turned 5. She wasn’t. Could it be that God does not want us to have too much time to think? We could so easily sit back and say, “You know…this experience with Leanna is just too painful. Do we really want to take another risk? Do we really want to open ourselves up for MORE pain and MORE heartache? (And MORE paperwork?!)” Too much time to think could lead us to giving in to our fleshly fears and emotions. Saying ‘no’ to Vera would be understandable. But God just keeps forcing us to rely on Him. There are many more things that I haven’t shared that give us complete confidence that this was God’s plan all along. I really do need to write a book.
This week we have prayed for one thing – that God would CLEARLY light the path we are to walk down next. Only one path is being lit and it’s the path to Vera. I know you may be thinking, “Oh, I hope they know what they’re doing.” Well, we don’t, really. We’re just following after God as closely as we can. It’s definitely not always easy, but what an awesome adventure! I hope you’re excited to be on this adventure with us! We love you all and appreciate any and all prayers.
