Jonah

I didn't think I was going to write this. I was supposed to write something completely different. But here I am. Erasing the post I had in my head and replacing it with this. The story I had written is not the one God is writing.

If you're Facebook friends with me, you probably know about Jonah already. He's an orphan in Eastern Europe. He's in Vera' country. I learned about him after we committed to Vera. He desperately needs a family. I've read all about the place he will likely go when he's transferred, and just the thought of him there makes me weep. He doesn't belong there. No one belongs there.

I first learned about Jonah on March 1 and began plastering his darling picture on Facebook just about every day. There are a few people who love Jonah like I do and have been advocating for him. Several families have been interested in adopting him, but for various reasons, no one could commit to him. I even thought about us adopting him, but was advised not to by several people for several reasons. The main reason is that Jonah and Vera are in different regions. This means that if we were to adopt them both at the same time it would mean double everything - two dossiers, two court dates in two different regions, double money, double time in-country. Very difficult. Very expensive. Very time consuming.

So, I put it out of my mind. God surely must have a different family for Jonah. Right? Well, then where are they?! Surely it's not God's will for Jonah to take this car ride and do nothing all day, every day. For a few days, I just continued to pray for Jonah's safety and that someone would commit to him SOON. I checked the Reece's Rainbow website every night before bed hoping to see Jonah in the My Family Found Me section. Every night I went to bed praying that someone would find him tomorrow. I would watch him in this video and smile through tears. Surely his family is out there. What a little treasure he is.

And then I had the strangest thought. What if we ARE supposed to adopt Jonah with Vera? At first, I would dismiss the thought as soon as it came to mind. But it just kept coming, so I stopped to really consider it. I've always known we would adopt more than one. We're approved for two. Although when I would bring up the possibility to Jon he would say, "Just one for now, Amy." I told him that if I'm going to start school all over with Vera, it would be MUCH more fun if we had two to start over with. "Just one for now, Honey." He would say it with a smile.

Meanwhile, the thought of adopting Jonah just seemed to make sense to me. The more I prayed about it, the more peace I felt. Except for one thing. Location. I looked at a map and discovered that Jonah and Vera, while in different regions, really aren't that far away from each other. So, I asked a few people about the possibility of one of the children getting moved so that we could adopt them together. I was told the same thing by each person that I asked. "It's impossible." I must admit, this ruffled my feathers a bit and under my breath I said something like, "Pshh...impossible. Watch what God can do with 'impossible'!" And I began praying that if it was God's will for us to adopt them both that He would do the impossible and get them in the same region. I didn't tell Jon I was praying this way. Actually, I only told two people. Two people who I know love Jonah and would pray with me.

That was about the time I quit posting about Jonah on Facebook because, "What if someone saw him and committed to him before we could?" We found Vera through Facebook, so I knew the possibility was real. This was also when I began posting the following scripture on Facebook. If you were wondering about that, now you know the reason.

‎"Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

Matthew 17:20

I will go before you

and will level the mountains;

I will break down gates of bronze

and cut through bars of iron.

I will give you hidden treasures,

riches stored in secret places,

so that you may know that I am the LORD,

the God of Israel, who summons you by name.

Isaiah 45:2-3

Jesus replied, “Truly I tell you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.”

Matthew 21:21 - 22

Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God."

Mark 10:27

“Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. “Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."

Mark 11:22 - 24

I believed God was going to do it. I really believed God was going to do the impossible and move one of them so they were in the same region. Then someone emailed me. Someone who was in Vera's country adopting from her orphanage. The same person who sent me the priceless video of Vera. She told me that Vera was all set to be transferred and the facilitator wanted to know how our dossier was coming. I asked her if she knew where Vera would be transferred to, and all she knew was that it would be to a different region because all the facilities in Vera's region were full. Can you imagine my reaction? Here I was praying and believing that God was going to move one of them and I get the news that Vera will likely be transferred very soon. Although I did worry about her being transferred, I was also very peaceful knowing that God was going to answer my prayer and move Vera to Jonah's region. They were both coming home together. That was when I told Jon about my secret prayers. After hearing the whole story, he agreed that if they ended up in the same region, we would pray about it. Well, I already believed it was going to happen. In my mind it was settled. We were bringing Vera and Jonah home together. I would have to stop myself in conversations. I would catch myself wanting to say, "When we bring the kids home..." Jon and I talked about a stroller for Vera one night and I didn't have the heart to tell him that we needed a double stroller.

Our dossier arrived in Vera's country on Monday. We're scheduled to be submitted next Thursday. I knew that if we were going to get Vera and Jonah at the same time, we needed to find something out soon as a few of our documents would need to change. I emailed our stateside helper Tuesday to find out if Vera and/or Jonah have been moved. I got the news yesterday. They are both safe in their baby homes. Neither one has been transferred. God didn't do it. Could He have? Yes, I am certain God could have done the impossible. But He didn't. Stubborn as I am, that was the not the end of it for me. I emailed our stateside helper back with all sorts of questions. What if this? What about that? None of her answers were what I wanted to hear. I was confused and sad and surprised. I believed so firmly that God was going to do this. But all the while, my prayer was, "If it is Your will, please get them in the same region."

Apparently it is not His will. So all morning I prayed and cried and cried and prayed. I kept asking, "How can I glorify You in this?" I had a completely different post written in my head to announce Jonah into our family. It was going to be a lovely God-story full of praise and awesomeness and glory. What was I supposed to write now? How could He be glorified in this? I took my Bible and devotion book out onto the deck and sat down with a heavy heart. I had one question. "Why, Lord? I don't understand." Though my heart wasn't in it, I opened my devotion book to yesterday's date. I was supposed to read John 13:3-20. I got to verse 7 and the tears came again.

Jesus replied, "You do not realize now what I'm doing, but later you will understand."

And I knew. There was still one question that had not been answered by our stateside helper. There was still a faint glimmer of hope that I clung to. But with these words, I knew. It is not going to happen. And I cried. I grieved. I've lost another child. It's funny how your heart works. How you can love someone so much that you've never even met. I do love Jonah like he's mine. I feel like I did after my miscarriages with one difference. This time the child is not in a better place, safe in Heaven. This time I know what the child looks like. This time the child is out there waiting for a mommy and daddy to come get him. I so wanted to be Jonah's mommy. I had mentally moved all of our Thomas trains and track from under Caleb's bed to under Jonah's bed. I could picture him playing and having so much fun with the trains. Don't you just long to see a train in each of his hands and a smile on his face? I could picture Jonah and Vera playing in the tub. I could picture him at the kitchen table sitting in between Vera and Caleb drinking his milk. I saw him on Jacob's lap reading a book together. I saw him using Toby as a pillow on the floor as we watch Veggie Tales together and eat popcorn. I saw him delight in chasing Phoebe around the house trying to pull her tail and poke her eyes. I saw him in the pool with Abbi wearing cute little floaties.

Loss.

Grief.

How do I praise God through this? I went back and read this post that I wrote last year. It was comforting in a strange way to remember that the past 15 months have been full of grief and loss. God has brought us through all of it. Our faith has increased by leaps and bounds. Things seem to go one way and we think we know what's going to happen and then God throws us a curve ball that we never saw coming. We've learned to trust Him so much more. His plans are bigger and better than anything we can dream up. I remembered a post written by Beth Moore that meant so much to me not long ago. John 13:7 inspired me to look it up again. You can read the whole post here, and I know you will be blessed if you do. But here's the meat of it. (I know this is a long post, but I really didn't want to split it up into two. Please keep reading...good stuff.)

"Often I try to help God out with ideas. “Why don’t You do it this way?” Or, “why don’t You do so and so with so and so?”

I’m forever giving God workable suggestions about how He could – sometimes, if I may be so bold, should – handle something. Or someone.

Anybody else?

Don’t you know there are times He wants to say to us right out loud in our stubborn hearing, “Child, THAT’S NOT WHAT I’M DOING.”

Often, we just don’t know what God is doing. So often we think we do but, the truth is, we just don’t. Thankfully, He does. He really does. He doesn’t need our help. Our brilliant ideas. Or our last ditch efforts because He ignored our first ten suggestions. He just wants our cooperation.

He is constructing something beyond our human rationale. He knows in advance every piece – past, present, and future – that will be required for the finished work. He has all the patience in the universe to put it together. We see one little part and one little moment. He, the One who is, who was, and is to come, sees beyond the singular piece to every generation and condition He means to effect. Meanwhile, He works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. The one thing may not be good at all by itself. In fact, it may be horrendous. Criminal. It’s when He weaves it with all that comes before it and all that will come around and behind it that something good, something beneficial, emerges.

Never let Romans 8:28 become so familiar that you subconsciously fold it into your spiritual fairy tale file. It is as true today as it was the moment the Apostle dripped the letters on the parchment. Don’t blow them dry.

Maybe it’s not that God isn’t listening. Maybe it’s just that what we keep suggesting is not exactly what He’s doing. And, if that’s so, what He’s doing can only be better and more effectual than what we think we’d do in His place.

John 13:7 says something that keeps ringing in my ears.

Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.”

Later.

LATER.

L.A.T.E.R.

We WILL understand."

I'm brought to tears again rereading the above. Not my will, but God's. Not my plans, but His.

Proverbs 16:9 says, "In their hearts, humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps."

So, how can I praise God in this? How can I bring Him glory in my suffering? By continuing to trust Him and His plan. By believing His word and that one day I will understand why the answer to my prayer for Jonah is "No."

While I wait for understanding, I will continue to love and pray for Jonah. I have no doubt that he is meant for someone. As I said before, several families have been interested in him, but no one has been able to commit to him. So there MUST be someone out there for Jonah. Someone is supposed to go get him. I am praying fervently that Jonah's family finds him soon. This little love needs to come home.

Waiting

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

Psalm 27:14

The average person spends anywhere from 3 to 5 years of their life waiting. We wait in grocery lines. We wait at the doctor's office. We wait while our gas tank fills up. We wait at the bank. We wait at the airport. We wait at restaurants. We wait at stop lights and traffic signals. We wait for ketchup..."Good things come to those who wait." We wait. We wait. We wait.

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him.

Psalm 37:7

7 weeks ago today, Leanna signed a piece of paper sealing her future and ours. She cannot be adopted internationally because of that particular signature on that particular piece of paper. For over a year, Leanna waited for us to come get her and bring her home. She would email me weekly (sometimes every other day) asking when we're coming. How much longer? She was waiting. She was impatient. For over a year we waited to bring her home. We worked, we filled out paperwork until our fingers cramped, we held several yard sales to raise money, we prayed, we cried, we toiled. While doing all these things, we waited. We should be experts at waiting by now, don't you think?

Well, we're not. At least, I'm not.

I'm tired of waiting.

But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

Romans 8:25

7 weeks ago today, on Valentine's Day, I saw sweet Vera's picture for the very first time. And I cried. I knew she was ours. I knew we were supposed to go get her. Although the timing was questionable...I mean, though we knew it was coming, Leanna had signed the paper just that morning making a permanent decision that she would not be coming home with us. It was an emotional day all around. But there was no doubt that God had orchestrated it all. Leanna may never be an Evans legally, but she will forever be loved by us and considered our daughter and sister. Vera, though...Vera is who we're waiting for now.

Waiting.

The most difficult, frustrating part of adoption is the waiting.

Why must it take so long?

I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in His word I put my hope.

Psalm 130:5

We're waiting for ONE more document for our dossier. ONE. The Golden Ticket. Approval from immigration. I called USCIS this morning to find out how long our approval will take. We've already been approved. But we were approved to adopt a teenager from Russia. So, our approval requires some changes. I was hoping this would be quick turnaround. I mean, we've already been approved...just a few minor changes need to happen. I was told today that the normal processing time is 75 days and not to call back for a status until that much time has passed.

75 days. Two and a half months.

Seriously?

Waiting.

But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord,

I wait for God my savior; my God will hear me.

Micah 7:7

Vera turns 6 this week. Six years old. Vera has been waiting SIX YEARS for a family. She's been waiting SIX YEARS for a mommy and daddy. She's been waiting SIX YEARS for a sister and brothers who will love her and dote on her and treat her like the princess we're sure she is. SIX YEARS for snuggles on the couch and being read to by mommy. SIX YEARS to be held by her daddy's strong, gentle arms. SIX YEARS for hugs and kisses and prayers and getting tucked in at bedtime. SIX YEARS for a birthday party and cake and candles and presents. SIX YEARS to discover what the world is like outside her orphanage.

6 years. 2,190 days. And now she's supposed to wait another 75 days?

We're praying it isn't so. We're praying for God to move and get our approval to us pronto. Six years is long enough to wait, don't you think?

We wait in hope for the Lord;

he is our help and our shield.

In him our hearts rejoice,

for we trust in his holy name.

May your unfailing love be with us, Lord,

even as we put our hope in you.

Psalm 33:20-22

We would be honored if you would say a quick prayer right now asking that we get our I-171H approval as quickly as possible. Vera is waiting. After 2,190 days, she shouldn't have to wait any longer.

Update: The VERY DAY I posted this, our I-171H approval arrived in the mail!

The Battle

Adoption is beautiful.

And redemptive.

Adoption is difficult.

And requires much prayer.

And sacrifice.

Adoption is joyful.

And sometimes sorrowful.

Adoption is a battle. Ephesians 6 tells us that our struggles are not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, authorities and powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil. I don't think I've ever seen this more clearly than in the world of orphans and adoption.

Last week was hard for me. I could feel the raging war. I could almost hear the ring of the swords as the battle was fought. Good vs. evil. God and His warriors against Satan and his legion of demons. It was very hard to accept that Satan seemed to be winning last week.

The story of Kirill and the judge denying his parents their petition to adopt him - simply because he has Down syndrome. The judge told this couple they should pursue a 'normal' child because there was nothing wrong with their dossier. This judge would not deny them if they petitioned for a 'normal' child. This judge denied Kirill a family...solely because he has Down syndrome. Kirill's family is appealing the judge's decision. Please pray that this decision is overturned and that Kirill can come home.

Another family took their first trip to Russia and had the lovely 8-doctor medical experience. The psychiatrist told them they should consider adopting a 'normal' child because a child with Down syndrome doesn't know the difference between being held and lying in a crib 24/7. This mother was much more gracious with her response than I would've been.

The story of Carrington...a beautiful 3 year old girl...who weighs 11 pounds. She was on the brink of death when her parents brought her home a week and a half ago. Carrington's family adopted 2 girls from the same orphanage. One girl was a favorite at the orphanage (like our Vera) and was well loved and taken care of. Carrington was not a favorite. She was not deemed worthy by her caretakers. Carrington was put in a 'laying' room. Where many children are left to lie in cribs...until they die. Some are tied down so they can't roll around and bang against their crib. Others are drugged to make them sleep most of the time and keep them quiet. Carrington is holding steady at 13 pounds. Please pray for her continued growth and strength. The doctors are trying to get her strong enough for surgery.

A loving mother of 3 kicked out of her apartment and FORCED by her government to choose which of her 3 children would go to an orphanage. Those of you with more than one child, how does a mother make that decision? I can't even imagine. Please pray for this mother. She has two months to get her daughter out of the orphanage before the government begins to terminate her parental rights. She has a new job lined up but is in need of an affordable babysitter for her other two children.

Airplanes, carrying people on their way to adoption related appointments, catching fire and having to turn around.

My precious Jonah had a family. Then he didn't.

A friend of mine, hoping to adopt a teenage boy she hosted over Christmas, was crushed when he told her he didn't want to be adopted.

Children dying while they wait for their families to come get them.

Delays in our own pursuit of adoption.

People whose family and friends have turned their backs on them. For adopting a special needs child. This confuses me greatly. Isn't adoption supposed to bring families together? In some cases, it is tearing families apart.

Can you sense the battle? It's pretty fierce, isn't it? There is a war raging for orphans. As I see the Church awakening to the call to care for the orphans, I also see the enemy preparing to defend his territory. How I pray that as the Church continues to open her eyes to the orphan crisis that she also prepares to fight. The Church must arm herself.

Last week I felt defeated. Knocked around. Beat up. Discouraged. Part of me felt like giving up. Not with the adoption, but with the fight. The exhausting, painful, never-ending fight. Last week I don't even how many times I prayed, "Come quickly, Lord. What are You waiting for?" I found myself longing for Home more and more. It became painfully obvious to me that I am a foreigner here. I don't understand this world or the injustices that go on daily, moment to moment. I am ready for the Kingdom of Heaven. Restoration. Redemption. Creation has been groaning and eagerly waiting to be set free from it's bondage and decay. Last week I joined creation's chorus of groans.

I spent some time in Romans 8. I find so much hope here. HOPE. That's what I was missing last week. Of course...hope.

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.

We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?

As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long;

we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:18 - 39

So now, my sleeves are up, the gloves are off. I am ready to get back in the ring and fight.

Who will join me?

Buckle Up!

Please make sure your seatbelts are securely fastened before continuing on our roller coaster. We are about to throw you for a loop. We are still dizzy ourselves. But in the VERY best way! I am about to share with you a story that only God could’ve written. I am just not creative enough to think of this on my own. Oh, how I pray you will read this with hearts open wide. My heart is so full…it overflows. How I pray you will KNOW that we are not making a hasty decision…because it may seem that way. How I pray you will KNOW we did not decide this out of grief or sadness over Leanna…because it may seem that way to some. Believe me when I say, we have questioned that ourselves. When this all began, I asked several out of state friends to pray specifically about what I am about to share. The last thing Jon and I want to do is make a decision based on emotions. The last thing we want to do is set ourselves and the kids (and all of you) up for another heartache. We have prayed and prayed and prayed about this this week and BELIEVE this is God’s plan. I pray you will believe it too.

So, let me share a little story with you.

I had thought about adoption for years before Jon was ready to talk about it. I never pushed him. Hardly ever brought it up. Except to God. Adoption is HUGE and I knew Jon and I needed to be in full agreement that we should do it. It wouldn’t work if I was all in and Jon was on the fence. Throughout all those years of waiting for Jon to get off the fence and jump in, there was always a picture in my head. I had looked at countless orphan websites and countless photos of available children over the years. I get weekly emails from many orphan/adoption ministries. In the fall of 2009 when Jon and I began discussing adoption seriously (before we met Leanna), the picture became a little clearer. Then we met Leanna and you know what happened with that. The picture never entered my mind again.

Until last week when Leanna began having doubts. The same picture from before started coming to me again. Even clearer.

On Monday, someone that I just recently became Facebook friends with posted a picture of a little girl.

IT WAS HER! The girl from the picture in my head. Without a doubt.

My heart stopped and I started sobbing. I NEVER DREAMED there was really a girl that would look like the picture in my head. With all those hours I spent looking at available children to adopt, I was never looking for the girl in my mental picture. I never imagined she was really out there. When Jon and I discussed her Monday night, he said it was freaking him out that I’ve had a picture of this girl in my head all these years. I said it was freaking ME out that there's actually a girl that looks like the picture in my head!

So, her name is Vera and she’ll be 6 in April. She is an orphan in Eastern Europe…been in an orphanage most, if not all of her life. Would you like to see her? She’s just the cutest thing EVER!

So…a little more to the story…

This week I kept asking God WHY He provided all that money a few weeks ago for Leanna’s adoption just to end it like this? It just did not make sense. Remember when I said the only logical conclusion we could come to was that there must be someone else that we’re supposed to adopt? Well, we now have most, if not all, of the money we would need to adopt Vera. In addition to the $16,500 that our agency is refunding to us, there is also a grant for whoever adopts Vera for over $5,000. And get this…there are people RIGHT HERE in the Buford/Sugar Hill/Flowery Branch area, that have been advocating for Vera since the fall of 2009…when Jon and I began discussing adoption. And with all of the websites I’ve been on and all of the photos I’ve looked at, I never saw Vera…until Monday. Coincidence?

We also learned that someone was already in the process to adopt Vera along with two little boys…from what I understand they were actually there, in Europe to complete the adoption. All we know is that they had a family emergency and had to go home and end the adoption process. About the same time that God provided our $16,500, Vera lost her family. Coincidence?

Jon and I discussed adopting Vera on Monday night. Like I said before, we do NOT want to make a hasty decision. Although the picture in my head was evidence enough for me, we knew we could not/should not base our decision on that alone. Tuesday morning Jon dreamed about Vera. He woke up with one thought…we need to go get Vera. Coincidence?

There were a few families interested in adopting Vera and had asked for more information about her. I emailed each family this week and asked about their intentions. My thought was, if anyone is already going after her, there is our answer. Every family emailed me back and said that for various reasons, Vera is not the one for them. I emailed the lady from the website that Vera’s information is posted on and asked the same thing. No one is pursuing Vera. Coincidence?

We have put together a few other things this week that just cannot be coincidences. I don’t believe in coincidences anyway…but if we had not met Leanna, we would not have known about New Horizons. If I had not known about New Horizons, I would not get their Facebook updates. If I did not get their Facebook updates, I never would’ve seen my friend’s comment on one of their posts and said, “Is that the Pam I know?” and become Facebook friends with her. If I had not become Facebook friends with Pam just two months ago, I would not have seen Vera’s photo on Monday…the same day Leanna signed the paper saying she does not want to be adopted. AND…if we had not begun the adoption process last year, we would not be homestudy ready today. And that is a big factor in this. Whoever goes to get Vera needs to act quickly. She is about to be transferred to a mental institution where she would simply rot away because…

Vera has Cerebral Palsy.

Yep. CP. A special needs child. We were NOT thinking about adopting a special needs child. That was the furthest thing from our minds. I mean, US? Special needs? Really? US??? It brings new meaning to our adoption verse…’you would not believe even if you were told.’ Uh…yeah. We would NOT have believed this!

Okay, I know you are likely reeling in your seat. Truthfully, my head is spinning as I write this all out. There are more ‘coincidences’ that I haven’t even shared. It’s like there’s a big flashing, neon sign saying SHE’S THE ONE! I hope I am not the only one who sees it. I will tell you that I have been emailing with several people who have met Vera through adopting their own children with CP. Vera’s CP seems to be mild (whatever that means). Someone watched her climb two flights of stairs holding onto the rail, which is a great indicator of her potential. Speech delays are common with CP…Vera speaks Russian and none of her caregivers seem to have trouble understanding her. Though it could be that they’re just used to her speech. She has hip displasia and will likely need a routine surgery for it. If she has the right resources and therapies, her prognosis seems to be GREAT! I have been in touch with several people who have adopted children with CP and they have given me some great information and things we should be asking and looking for. I contacted the lady who did our homestudy for us and she herself has a daughter from Ukraine who has CP. We knew her daughter was from Ukraine, but didn’t know she has CP. She told me that her daughter is now in high school, on the honor roll and you would never know she has a disability. She gave me the name of the best doctor here in Atlanta, and I will not be surprised to see his name on our list of approved doctors with our insurance. I was also told that because we have so much done already, Vera should be home by June!!

You can read more about Vera here http://reecesrainbow.org/vera19 and here http://iknowyouroutthereimjustwaiting.blogspot.com/.

So, all of this being said, we do still have questions. Although God has provided EVERY SINGLE DIME we have needed so far, why have we spent $17,000 just to take this turn? We do not know. We may never know. But we can look back at many things now and say, “So that’s why that happened.” And the timing with Vera just seems to line up perfectly. But why is God forcing us to make this decision so quickly? Vera’s time in the orphanage is short. She should have been transferred to the mental institution when she turned 5. She wasn’t. Could it be that God does not want us to have too much time to think? We could so easily sit back and say, “You know…this experience with Leanna is just too painful. Do we really want to take another risk? Do we really want to open ourselves up for MORE pain and MORE heartache? (And MORE paperwork?!)” Too much time to think could lead us to giving in to our fleshly fears and emotions. Saying ‘no’ to Vera would be understandable. But God just keeps forcing us to rely on Him. There are many more things that I haven’t shared that give us complete confidence that this was God’s plan all along. I really do need to write a book.

This week we have prayed for one thing – that God would CLEARLY light the path we are to walk down next. Only one path is being lit and it’s the path to Vera. I know you may be thinking, “Oh, I hope they know what they’re doing.” Well, we don’t, really. We’re just following after God as closely as we can. It’s definitely not always easy, but what an awesome adventure! I hope you’re excited to be on this adventure with us! We love you all and appreciate any and all prayers.

Hold on to your hats

Well, hold on to your hats. The 13-month-Evans-Adoption-Roller-Coaster took a 180 turn this past weekend and we are still reeling and are quite honestly a bit dazed and confused.

Leanna has changed her mind. She does not want us to adopt her.

We are not going to Russia this week for court.

Pause…let that sink in.

You may be wondering why. What happened? I’m not sure how much I should share, so I will just say what I know. Leanna told us that because of our rules, she does not want to come.

We knew going into this that it would be difficult to adopt a teenager. Especially one that has had so much freedom over the years. But we NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS dreamed that she would change her mind at the last minute. I mean, if we thought this was going to happen, we would’ve made many different decisions. We would not have purposefully set ourselves and our children up for heartache.

Along with this news though, there is an incredible peace. I can’t explain it or describe it. But neither Jon or I have any doubts that God led us every step of the way. We know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this was part of His plan. We do have many questions. Many, many, many. But we can positively look back and see God’s hand in it ALL. It doesn’t make sense. And it makes sense.

I have had a picture in my mind for several days and God just keeps impressing this on me and I feel He wants me to share it with you. Forgive me if this is a bad analogy. I know that what we have to offer is NOTHING in comparison to what Jesus offers to everyone…

But here we are, offering Leanna love. A family. A future. Here we are offering her all we are and all we have. Here we are willing to sacrifice our normal, easy, predictable life for her sake. Here we are willing to lay down our lives for her. Here we are willing to go to the ends of the earth to bring her home. And she said no. She has chosen her own way.

Do you see the picture?

God is here offering everyone Love. Forgiveness. Eternal life. Here He is offering all He is and all He has. Here He is willing to sacrifice His Only Son for our sake. Here He is willing to lay down His own life for ours. Here He is willing to leave the glory of Heaven to bring us home.

And most people say no. Most people choose their own way.

Friends, I know this doesn’t make sense, but the events of this past week have made me love Jesus so much more. So much deeper. I invite you to taste and see that the Lord is GOOD. Oh, He is so good. His plans are good. Even when we don’t understand them.

Okay, so what now?

Well, we are praying and seeking. We know we are supposed to adopt. We know God has brought us to this point. We know we are right where He wants us. We have been asking and asking, “WHY have You brought us THIS FAR for it to end up like this? WHY did You provide SO AMAZINGLY two weeks ago if it was going to end here?” The only logical conclusion we have come to is that there is someone else waiting for us.

As I’ve been pondering all of this and more, God continues to bring Habakkuk 1:5 to my mind. It seems to be our adoption verse… “Look at the nations and watch – and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told.”

Chuckle. So true. I would NOT have believed God if He had told me this was going to happen. I would NOT have believed that we would get down to the END of this process and Leanna would change her mind. I am so comforted knowing that God is not surprised by any of this.

Would you please join us in prayer? Pray for Leanna and that she will be at peace with her decision. Pray for Jacob, Caleb and Abbi. This is hard enough for adults to understand, let alone kids. All three kids are very sad, but Abbi is taking this pretty hard. She could not wait to have a sister. Her little heart is broken. Pray for clarity, discernment and wisdom for Jon and I. There are so many thoughts and conversations taking place…so many possibilities as to where to go from here. We will need to make some pretty quick decisions as our homestudy expires in May. Pray that God CLEARLY lights the path for us and shines light on which path we are to take. Above all, please pray that God’s will is accomplished in and through our family.

What you do with Faith

"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1

Faith has always been my #1 spiritual gift. Jon and I have done countless tests and questionnaires about our spiritual gifts. No matter how I answer, faith is always at the very top.

But what do you do with faith?

I used to wish I had a different #1 gift. One that I knew what to do with. Like teaching. Teaching is obvious. If you're gifted at teaching, you teach. Simple. Or healing. If you have the gift the healing, you heal. If your gift is giving, you give. Why couldn't I have been given a gift like that? Where it's obvious what to do with it.

But faith? What do you do with faith? How do you exercise that gift and put it into practice?

I have asked God that question many times. I want to use the gifts He has given me. I don't want to waste it. It's a gift from God, afterall.

I suppose I can look back and see different ways that I have used my gift of faith. Like when we moved from Illinois to Texas. Within days of becoming a Christian, I KNEW we were supposed to move to Texas. I just knew it. I went around telling all my friends and co-workers that we were leaving Illinois. While Jon panicked because people I worked with knew people he worked with and he didn't want his boss to hear he was leaving. We had planned a trip to go visit Jon's sister in Houston and just to shut me up...uh...I mean humor me, Jon had taken a day off from work to make some calls and see if he could line up a few job interviews while we were there. I will never forget walking into the house that day after work. I was greeted by a very excited Jon. "You were right, honey! We are moving to Texas!" Forget interviews. He had several job offers just over the phone. And several people (including Jon) thought I was crazy when I started talking about moving to Texas!

1 Corinthians 12:7 - 11 says, "Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. To one there is given through the Spirit a message of wisdom, to another a message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues. All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines."

'...for the common good...He distributes them to each one just as he determines.'

Romans 12:6 - 8 says, "We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully."

'According to the grace given to each of us.'

Hopefully you've read my previous post. If you haven't, you should. The rest of this will make a whole lot more sense.

I have written several posts over the last year about how I don't know where the money will come from to adopt Leanna. I mean, $50,000? That's a little insane. I readily admit that. But I always had faith that God WOULD provide it. I just didn't know HOW He would do it. Although that sometimes caused me to ask questions, I never really doubted that God would provide all the money we need. Should I have doubted? Well, you be the judge.

The events of this week...God's awesome provision and me sharing the story...His story...has prompted many of you to write to me and comment about my 'amazing faith.' It's made me wonder...is my faith really that amazing? And if it is, why is it? And then it hit me! Just today it hit me and I had to give thanks all over again for the events of this week. I'm using my spiritual gift! Hallelujah! Perhaps one of the reasons God put me on this journey was so that I can put my gift into practice! He already knew I longed to use my gift of faith. Maybe my faith isn't so much amazing as it is curious to those who've been given different gifts. I often wonder how people with the gift of hospitality are so...well, hospitable. I fail miserably at hospitality...because that's not my gift! So many people have written to me this week and shared how they needed to hear this story. They've been encouraged in their own journey with the Lord by hearing of His faithfulness to Leanna and our family. Their own faith has been given a boost. Oh, how I praise Him even more for how He is working in the lives of others through this. That is just icing on the cake!

I knew some of you thought I was nuts (including Jon...so don't feel too bad)...a few of you have admitted it to me over the past few days...and I smile. Yes, I knew. When those eyebrows go up, I know what you're thinking. "She's crazy! Does she really expect God to rain down money from heaven?!" It's okay. I forgive you. :) God didn't rain down money from heaven, but He certainly WOWed us all, didn't He? 26 families THAT I DON'T KNOW donated money to our adoption fund Monday and Tuesday. I don't usually like to use numbers because every donation we've received means SO much to us. But some of these donations from complete strangers are big...several are $100, one is $250, one is $500! From strangers! One of the $1,000 donations is from a family that we met once, maybe twice. There can be no explanation other than GOD DID THIS! Would you give $100 or $500 or $1,000 to someone you've never met just because you read a good story? That's the Holy Spirit at work, people! And I would bet those people who gave have the gift of giving!

So I guess exercising faith and using my spiritual gift means to believe even when others think I'm crazy. To trust what God is telling me even when my loves ones with the very best intentions urge me to take matters into my own hands and do something - do something MORE than pray. To not look at my circumstances, but fix my eyes on Jesus. To remember that what is impossible to man IS possible with God.

I do need to say though, that the only reason I can even have this faith is because GOD IS FAITHFUL!

Psalm 100

Make a joyful noise to the LORD, all the earth!

Serve the LORD with gladness!

Come into his presence with singing!

Know that the LORD, he is God!

It is he who made us, and we are his;

we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving,

and his courts with praise!

Give thanks to him; bless his name!

For the LORD is good;

his steadfast love endures forever,

and his FAITHFULNESS to all generations.

Be AMAZED!!!

Most of you have already read this. I wanted to put it here on the blog because one day VERY SOON I will be able to open this up to the public again. One day VERY SOON Leanna will be home and I won't have to worry about visitors from Moscow reading my entries. One day VERY SOON I pray that this testimony encourages others on their adoption journey.

Not to us, Lord, not to us but to YOUR NAME be the glory, because of Your love and FAITHFULNESS! Psalm 115:1

Get your dancing shoes on! There will be much celebrating tonight! There has been all day as God has repeatedly shown Himself in ways that only He can do. I have been trying to get this all written down, but as I type, I get email after email of more donations coming in thru our Lifesong/Harbins grant. I have been crying all afternoon. Amazing! Today has just been amazing! And so overwhelming!

But let me back up to yesterday. I must admit I was still a bit discouraged yesterday at church. I had sent out an email on Saturday to lots of people asking for help and hadn’t had a response to it. Nothing. Some of you know about the horrible week Jon and I had last week. I won’t bore you with the details. I’ll just say that the events of last week had me asking, “Why, Lord? Why are You allowing these things to happen? Why now?” I cried at least once a day last week. Which isn’t the norm. The no-good, horrible, very bad week was capped off on Friday at 5:10 when our adoption agency called and said we could go ahead and send in the $16,500 on Monday to ensure we get a court date before February 18. Sure. Just send it in. Like $16,500 is no big deal. We knew the deadline was coming. We weren’t surprised by the call. We just thought we’d have the money by the time the deadline rolled around. Well, we didn’t need the money on Friday. We needed it today. God had it all under control this whole time.

Last week’s events also brought me to the end of myself. I had nowhere else to turn except to God. I have no doubt that is right where He wanted me all along. He just had to get me there. I laid a fleece out before Him and basically said that I am done. If He wants this adoption to happen, then He is just going to have to provide the money. I’m not asking anyone for any more money (and we all know how that turned out). I told Him that if the money is here on Monday, then we’ll proceed. If it’s not here…well, I guess we’re done. Friends and family have asked us what we’re doing to raise this money. My answer lately has been, “I’m praying.” That usually gets a raised eyebrow. Like, that’s ALL you’re doing? What ELSE are you doing? How are you going to raise the rest of the money you need? “I don’t know. I’m praying.” This whole experience has me asking many questions. Is praying enough? Is it wrong to expect God to answer my prayers? Is it wrong to expect Him to provide? Is it wrong to expect Him to be faithful? Was it wrong to lay that fleece before Him? To basically demand that He provide ‘or else’? Was that putting Him to the test? And what is the difference between putting Him to the test in Luke 4 (where Jesus says not to do it) and Malachi 3 (where the Lord says ‘test Me in this’)?

Many, many questions.

The only good thing that came out of last week was that we were approved for a matching grant through our church adoption fund with Lifesong for Orphans. If we received $2,500 in donations, our church fund would match that amount, giving us $5,000.

So yesterday…we got home from church and I quickly checked my email before we headed to the park. One of the groups I had sent the Saturday email to (that I thought I had no responses to) was a homeschool group that we joined just this month. One of the moms had responded to my email to the whole group and basically said that there are 250 families in this group. If each family gave just $50 to the Evans, they’ll have what they need. I also got emails from a few other families saying they were ‘in’ and had already donated to our fund. Keep in mind, we are new to this group and I only know 4 or 5 families so far. The people who responded are people I have never met. Okay, that got Jon and I a little excited. We loaded up the kids and dog and headed to the park. While walking I was thinking about that email and what a great idea it was. So I started praying that God would raise up $50 families to give. If 250 families gave $50, that would be $12,500! $50 families. That would work! A little while later, I thought, “Why limit it to $50 families?!” And I started praying for $5 families, $20 families, $100 families and even $1,000 families.

We got home from the park and Jon’s phone rang. A friend knew someone who wanted to donate $1,000 to us and needed the Lifesong info.

We heard from several more people yesterday who said they were going to donate and some told us how much they planned to give. We knew God had already matched the $2,500 by the time we went to bed last night!

Right before I went to bed, I got an email from a friend. She said she had money for me and that it wasn’t much, but it was all they could do right now. Guess how much she gave? $50!

I went to bed completely excited for today to get here so we could see God work. I KNEW He was going to do something HUGE! He did not disappoint!

The day started out like a normal Monday. The kids had band. I checked my email before we left hoping for an update from Lifesong. No such luck.

We got home and Jon called saying he had talked to Lifesong and our fund had received $2,200 (which means we had $4,400 total). Well, AWESOME! But, really? Only $2,200? What happened to the people we talked to yesterday? Did they forget to write our name on their donations? We were expecting so much more. Oh well. THANK YOU, LORD! We’re $4,400 closer!

And then it started.

God.

Answered prayer.

An AMAZED Evans family.

The following happened in less than 5 minutes today…

Lifesong had emailed me a list of the people who had given so far. I didn’t even recognize half the names. While I was reading the list, Leah (with Lifesong) emailed me again and said she checked our account again and we had received $1,500 more. WOW! Our total with the matching grant was up to $6100!

Meanwhile, I kept getting emails from people saying, ‘I just donated to your fund…’

THEN I got a combination of phone calls and emails that put me over the edge. Apparently more money had been given to our church adoption fund yesterday and our pastor called Lifesong and asked that they bump up the matching grant.

Lifesong agreed.

Our matching grant is now $4,300, which means we could receive $8,600.

Enter tears of joy.

Hallelujahs.

Dancing.

Laughter thru tears.

Saying ‘thank You’ is so insufficient in moments like this.

I quit emailing updates to Jon because it was changing every minute.

I emailed Lifesong at 4:30 for an update, but I haven’t heard back. I guess they were gone already.

So, as of 2:23 this afternoon, we only need about $5,000 more. But I have heard from several more people since then saying they donated or plan to.

Okay, see? Every time I try to give a total, it changes within a minute. Jon just received another call from another family who just donated $1,000. So, as far as we know, we only need $4,000 more.

So, go get your dancing shoes on and celebrate with us!

Sing praises to God with us!

Laugh through tears with us!

Thank Him with us!

I will say it again, because it is the only thing I can think right now…

Not to us.

Not.

To.

Us.

But to YOUR NAME be the glory, because of YOUR love and FAITHFULNESS!

If you’d like to jump on the giving bandwagon, use this link (http://lifesongfororphans.org/donation.html ) and be sure to put Evans/#1827. All donations thru Lifesong are tax deductible. If we receive more than the $4,300 for our matching grant, it will still go into our account. It just won’t be matched. After today’s $16,500, we’ll need at least $10,000 for our remaining two trips.

Me and Moses

I have become a bit obsessed with Moses the past few weeks. Jon and I teach 6 - 8 year olds on Sunday mornings and we began Exodus last week. This week I've been preparing our lesson about the burning bush in Exodus 3 and 4. If you're not familiar with the story, Moses is 80 years old when God speaks to him through a bush that is on fire, but does not burn up. God tells Moses that he is to deliver the Israelites from slavery in Egypt. I am fascinated with Moses' response. Remember awhile ago when I talked about Mary and my admiration of her? The angel tells her that she will give birth to God Himself and her response is simply, "May it be to me as you have said." Well, Moses is not that easy to convince. First, he says, "Who am I that I should bring the Israelites out of Egypt?" Reminds me of myself in so many ways. How many times have I asked the Lord this past year, "Who am I to adopt an almost 15 year old girl and be her mom? What am I thinking? What are YOU thinking, God? Who am I to think I can do this?"

Who.

Am.

I?

God responds.

"I will be with you." Of course! That's it! It's not *I* who will be doing this. It is God.

Moses, on the other hand...oh, Moses. I understand so well. He is just full of what ifs and buts, much like myself. But she's almost 15! But we don't have the money! What about school? How is this going to work? What if I can't give her all she needs? What if she resents us for bringing her away from all she's ever known? What if the other 3 resent us for bringing Leanna here? What if she doesn't make friends? I could go on and on.

What gets me about Moses is that God answers each and every one of his what ifs and buts. God gives him clear direction and tells him EXACTLY what to do if each what if happens. We're talking very specific details here. God is not vague at all with Moses. He says over and over, "If this happens, do that. If that happens, do this." God even tells Moses exactly what to say. I would feel so much better if God would speak to me, no burning bush needed, and answer all of my what ifs. Here's how to raise the money. Here's what to do about school. Here's how it will work. If she resents you, do this. If the others resent you, say this. If she doesn't make friends, do that.

I am truly praying for some sort of burning bush conversation with God and that He will be very specific with me when Leanna comes home.

Well, apparently God's very clear instructions to Moses did not give him confidence that He could do the task God was asking of him. After going on and on with objections and receiving all the answers in Exodus 3:11 until 4:12 (that's 23 verses), Moses finally pleads, "O Lord, please send someone else to do it." I can hear his desperation. I can feel it. I think I have said those words myself. O Lord, please send someone else to be Leanna's mother. I am so inept. I cannot do it. Surely there is someone more qualified. Someone stronger. Someone better. Someone more pleasing to You. I am not patient enough. I am rebellious. I am lazy. I am scared. So scared. What if this doesn't work? What if she rejects me? What if she says she wants to go back to Russia? This task is enormous...what if I fail?

What

if

I

fail?

In the end, God sent Aaron, Moses' brother, to help him. But Moses still had challenges. He had big fears to face. God didn't tell him it was going to be easy, and it wasn't. It was far from easy. But for a long while (the rest of his life as far as I can tell), God told Moses exactly what to do and say. How I pray He does the same for me when Leanna comes home. The Israelites turned on Moses many times, over and over, saying things like, "May the Lord look upon you and judge you!" and "What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt?!" They stopped listening to him. They were ungrateful. They blamed him for all their trouble after the exodus from slavery. They argued with him. They rebelled. They were difficult.

Even with all the miracles they witnessed. I'm sorry, but I just don't understand how a group of people can be a part of things like this and still grumble and rebel. I would just be in awe. Like in Exodus 14, God drove back the Red Sea all night and divided the waters. The Israelites went through the sea on dry ground with a wall of water on their right and their left. Can you even imagine that? They complained of hunger so God rained down bread from heaven for them so they didn't starve. What a sight that must've been! They complained about wanting meat. God sent them quail. Without so much as a thank you, they complained about being thirsty. God told Moses to strike a rock and when he did, water poured from it for them to drink. Still no record of the Israelites being thankful.

That is the kind of people God told Moses to lead. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Okay, I guess I can see why Moses wanted someone else to do it. He had a clue (as do I) as to what God was really asking of him.

But through it all, Moses did not fail.

God was with Moses.

Through. It. All.

Every. Step. Of. The. Way.

God never left him.

The rebellion of the Israelites goes on and on for some time. I don't know how long, but I love what happens in Exodus 33. At this point, I think Moses would have good reason to throw in the towel. The people God told him to lead had become corrupt. After all they had seen up to this point, they quickly turned away from God and worshiped a golden calf. They bowed down to it and sacrificed to it. After they had seen the Lord's great power and mighty hand over and over and over. What were they thinking?! I'm sure Moses was running out of patience. I'm sure he was thinking something like, "See, Lord? I told you I couldn't do it! I've done everything You said to do and LOOK at them! I'm done. Finished. They're all Yours. See ya!" But just when Moses needed it, God revealed Himself. In verse 33:18 Moses says, "Now show me Your glory." Seems a bit bold, doesn't it? Moses demanding something from God like that? I can't help but wonder what was going through his head. Was it like, "Okay, I've done everything You've told me to do all these years. It's been hard. They've rejected me over and over. I'm tired. I'm empty. Now, what are You gonna do for me?" And do you know what the Lord does? I just love this!

Verse 19 says, "And He said, "I will make all my goodness pass before you and will proclaim before you my name 'The LORD.' "

All of God's goodness passed before Moses. WOW! I mean...wow! That probably made all the trouble worthwhile. I might add that right after this something finally clicked with the Israelites and they began listening to Moses and doing what he says without argument.

I can't help but wonder when my, "Show me Your glory" moment will happen. I know it will. It's inevitable. But how long will it take? What all will take place to drive me to that point? How many times will Leanna argue with me? How many times will she be difficult? Ungrateful. Rebellious.

Moses died at the age of 120. Deuteronomy 34:12 has some final words about him.

"For no one has ever shown the mighty power or performed the awesome deeds that Moses did in the sight of all Israel."

Doesn't sound like failure to me.

2010 in Review - God's Faithfulness Revealed

As this year comes to a close, I have received many "2010 in Review" emails from various organizations. Have you? Did each one seem to have a common theme? I thought I should write my own 2010 in review...it's been quite a year for the Evans family.

I recently did a little thing on Facebook where you could make a page of some of your 2010 statuses. When I did it, one thing crossed my mind. God's faithfulness. How many times had I asked for prayer, either publicly on Facebook or quietly to myself? How many times had God answered? Well, sometimes I am very good at wasting time...I decided to go back to the beginning of 2010 and copy and paste all my statuses into a Word document. Yes, I know, I'm weird. But I am also encouraged and so glad I did it. We have a large amount of money due very soon to continue the process to adopt Leanna. We need $16,500 in a few weeks and we have just over $3,000 of it. Plus we still have two trips to make. All together, we still need over $30,000 to finish this thing and bring Leanna home.

Where will we get the rest? How will we come up with it?

I

have

no

earthly

idea.

But I am not worried.

At. All.

Which is a new, odd revelation. Every other time we knew a large sum of money would soon be needed, Jon and I would ask ourselves, sometimes repeatedly, "What are we going to do? What if we don't have the money by the time we need it?" Which always led to prayer. Which always led to prayer being answered. Because that's just how God works.

We ask. He answers.

Does He always answer in the affirmative? Well...no. God is not a genie in a bottle. He does not always answer the way we want Him to. But He does always answer.

I'd like to share some of the things I posted on Facebook this year. I pray you will be encouraged as you read some of my prayer requests and also the ways He answered...sometimes very quickly. Most of these are related to adopting Leanna. There were many other prayer requests that God answered this year. Many, many, many.

Okay, so, here are 20 Facebook status/prayer requests...going back to January 2010:

1. would appreciate prayers today. Leanna returns to Russia. I ask again, how am I supposed to let her go? I guess the answer is that I have no choice. To quote her words yesterday, "I no WANT Russia!" My poor girl. Please pray for peace for all of us.

We did have peace. God did ANSWER my request. It was a hard, emotional day last January when we put Leanna on the plane back to Russia. We cried and cried and cried some more. But there was peace. Peace that her return to Russia would not be permanent. Peace in the hope that she would soon be home for good. Peace in God's plan that she is our daughter. Peace. Peace. Peace.

ANSWER to fundraising prayers - is praising God for an awesome yard sale today! Over $1,200 raised for 3 adoption funds! YAY GOD!!

ANSWER to fundraising prayers - received an anonymous envelope at co-op today. Full of cash for our adoption fund. $400 to be exact. All I could do was cry. David's words from 2 Samuel 7 are running through my head. "Because of your promise & according to your own heart you have brought about all this greatness to make your servant know it. O Lord God, you are God & your words are true & you have promised this good thing to your servant."

ANSWER - is praising God for "performing wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted!" WOO HOO!! Thank You, Lord!

(The above was related to a prayer request about Jon's work. I had asked our small group to pray for a miracle...and God provided it. If you'd like to hear the story sometime, I would love to share it!)

2. is speechless. All I can say is PLEASE PRAY for a miracle...that Russia will NOT suspend US adoptions. I'm going to go have a good cry now.

3. can't wait to see what the Lord does today! I think it's gonna be big! I invite all of you to come experience our yard sale. And believe me, it will be an experience not to be missed!

4. is praying that the threatened thunder shower will pass us by this morning. Please join me in praying that our yard sale will not get rained out!

ANSWER to 3 & 4 - knows you're all anxiously awaiting the results...our two day yard sale raised $1,860 to help with adoption expenses for us and also for our friends who will bring baby Elijah home from Ethiopia very soon! We give all the glory to God! WOO HOO!!!

5. is hoping all my local friends will come to our 3rd yard sale adoption fundraiser TOMORROW! EVERYTHING MUST GO!!! Come hungry...we'll have nummy baked goods for sale, too!

ANSWER to 5 - is pleased to report that despite the rain, or should I say downpour, despite the thunder and lightning, God sent us shoppers...from 6:45 am until noon. Our yard sale fundraiser yesterday raised...drum roll please...$1,300!!! God totally exceeded our hopes and expectations AGAIN! HE ROCKS!!

ANSWER to 2 - is super excited to announce that after many weeks of limbo and trying to figure out how to move forward, our homestudy has FINALLY been issued and we should have it tomorrow.

6. continued from previous - Next step...apply for USCIS. Looks like the average wait-time for that is almost 4 months.

7. needs to get back on the fundraising trail. Turning in more adoption paperwork also means handing over more money. We'll soon be needing over $2,000. Anyone want to sponsor a puzzle piece? Anyone? Anyone?

8. and ANSWER to 8 - recently asked a few friends to pray for wisdom for me. Today as I was looking for a Bible study to keep me busy this summer, I stumbled across this...an online series of broadcasts from Beth Moore. The topic - wisdom. Oh, how I love Jesus and the many ways He cares for me!

ANSWER to 7 - is blessed beyond measure. We were surprised with an envelope full of cash from some awesomely wonderful friends to help buy Leanna clothes & things for the summer. We were also blessed with a surprise check from other, yet equally awesomely wonderful friends, to help buy things for Leanna's room. My cup runneth over...thank you, everyone!

ANSWER to private prayer during Leanna's summer visit - is thankful and praising God for a good day. Only ups today...no downs. Can't wait to see what He has in store for tomorrow!

ANSWER to 6 - does believe a new record has been set. We received our USCIS approval in the mail yesterday. I verified with our agency to make sure this is it...it is. The pretty pink piece of paper that many people we know waited 3 or 4 months for arrived after only...are you ready for this? 34 DAYS!! We were just fingerprinted 11 days ago! AMAZING!!

ANSWER to many private prayers - finally feels like Leanna feels like she's part of our family. Tonight was our best night yet! LOTS of laughter, games, and tickling. She almost gave Jon a goodnight hug. Twice. Thankful for a good, peaceful day at home (without complaining that it's 'boringly') and praying that tomorrow is just as good or even better. Can't believe we only have 15 days left with her. For now.

ANSWER to private prayer - survived a shopping trip with Leanna today. Had to smile when Abbi asked if she could accompany us into the dressing room. Leanna smiled and said, "Abbi, you come. You my sister. You come too." I love the way Leanna and Abbi are bonding. Leanna goes into Abbi's room at bedtime, sits at the end of the bed, and they chat in the dark until Jon or I go in to say it's bedtime. Sisters!

HUGE ANSWER to many private prayers - is so thankful that I got to see Leanna give Jon a hug at bedtime last night. It was the first time she gave him a real, both arms around his waist, hug. YAY!! It's hard to believe how far we've come in just 4 weeks. Praise the Lord!!

9. is really beginning to wonder about this plan God has for our family. Prayers are appreciated. It's been a rough weekend and I really need God to show Himself in a very big way.

ANSWER to 9 - is thankful that His grace is sufficient for me. His power is made perfect in my weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 9-10

ANSWER to 9 - can't say the same for Leanna, but I for one had an awesome experience at the dentist today. We were there for 2 hours while she had 8 cavities filled. The whole time, the dentist told me his story of adopting a 12 year old boy 6 years ago. He shared about how the Lord provided all his needs & carried he & his wife through the storms, valleys & deserts. Isn't it just like God to show up when you least expect it?!

10. NEEDS YOUR HELP! FBC in Gainesville offered us $500 for our adoption expenses if we can round up 10 volunteers for their consignments sale on August 27 and 28. I have 5 shifts covered so far. Please let me know if you can help! Shifts are Friday: 9-1, 1-5 or 5-9; Saturday: 7:30-11:30 or 1-5

(We ended up with 9 volunteers and $450 for the adoption fund! ANSWERED!!)

11. ‎& Jon are up to our eyeballs in grant applications. Praying for lots of money to start rolling in. Gotta bring our girl home!! Our first trip will likely be in October & we'll need around $20,000 at that time. Thankful for a sovereign God who's got it all under control. Thankful for peace after a 3 week long wrestling match. Thankful for His strength in my weakness. Thankful He can do it when I cannot. YAY, GOD!!

(We discovered that of the 5 or 6 grants we actually qualify for, several were/are out of funds at this time...but God is faithful! Read on!)

12. would appreciate prayers for Leanna. She's been in the hospital for several days with a fever that won't come down. She is still there and has missed the first two days of school. She'll miss tomorrow too. Her mood seems to be good though. She's complaining about the awful hospital food and is refusing to eat it. That's my girl!

ANSWER to 12 - finally heard back from Leanna. Her fever is gone, but she still has a cough and sore throat. She also said, "I wait for that day when we shall all be together." And she misses me and loves me. "Like cold water to a weary soul is good news from a distant land." Proverbs 25:25

13. is feeling discouraged today. Our dossier, that we were hoping would be registered on Monday, was not. That means we wait until the 27th. Having her home by Christmas may not be God's plan after all. sigh.

ANSWER to 13 - just got an email from Leanna that begins with, "Hi mom..." She's never referred to me as 'mom' before. I was not prepared for it. I'm still crying. How did she know I needed that?!

ANSWER to 13 is THRILLED to announceDrum roll please...Our dossier has FINALLY been registered!!Possible travel at the end of October.WOO HOO!!

14. would appreciate prayers for Leanna. She is yet AGAIN in the hospital...this time with stomach issues. She should be discharged on Friday but I've heard that one before.

ANSWER to 14 - is pleased to report that Leanna is out of the hospital. Maybe I should take bets on how long it will be before she goes back...could be a good fundraiser. Just kidding! Please continue to pray for her and our adoption process. We're still waiting to hear from Russia...or should I say Rush-huh.

15. needs you all to PRAY! There is a rumor that the Russian MOE is not processing any more adoptions this year because they don't want to exceed the number from 2009 (which has already been exceeded) & that the governor wants to reduce adoptions by 60% next year. Our agency is aware of the rumor but can't confirm or deny it until NEXT WEEK when their facilitator meets with an official!

16. can't believe this...now Jon has to head out of town TOMORROW and may or may not be back by Saturday. I may be sending out an urgent email BEGGING people to come help me set up for the yard sale on Saturday morning. It's too late to reschedule. I have 2 women coming at 7am, but I may need some men to help with the heavy stuff. Anyone? Anyone?

17. needs to know if anyone has clothes racks we can borrow for Saturday. We were hoping to use the ones we had last time but just found out it's a no-go. Anyone? Anyone? We'll need quite a few...

(5 small clothes were provided and we rigged up some sawhorses and poles for the rest. ANSWERED!)

ANSWER to 16 - How great is our God! Sing with me! How great is our God! And all will see how great, how GREAT is our God! Are you ready to Look, Watch and Be Amazed? I sure am! I'm amazed just looking at all that was accomplished today. God multiplied my time over and over. Still lots to do to get ready for our Yard Sale Like No Other, but I am no longer overwhelmed. PRAISE GOD!!

ANSWER to 16 - is exhausted. Worked on the yard sale for 9 hours today. WOW! We have GREAT stuff this time! Thank you to all who donated! THANK YOU to all who helped me today. I couldn't have done it without you!! We even made $155 from people who just couldn't wait until tomorrow...even though we repeatedly told them THE YARD SALE IS TOMORROW!

ANSWER knows you're all waiting on pins and needles to hear...

drum roll please...
our Yard Sale Like No Other raised...
over $1,400 - in JUST ONE DAY! WOO HOO, GOD!
We enjoyed it so much, we decided to do it again next weekend.
Did you just hear the kids groan? :)

18. just had an hour long IM chat with Leanna. She is sad & upset that we haven't come & that we don't know when we will. Please keep her in your prayers. Also, we're trying to decide if we should host her for Christmas. Pray for wisdom. It's just so hard to predict when she'll be home. Hosting will cost $2,400...which we just raised with the yard sales. But then it's $2,400 out of the adoption fund. What should we do?

ANSWER to 15 & 18 - JUST GOT TRAVEL DATES!!! Russia, here we come! WOW! I am stunned...what do we do first?

19. thinks Oksana at Go To Russia ROCKS! Visa applications done! Next on the list...travel arrangements. Advice please...should we buy tickets for about $1,200 each and KNOW we'll get there in time or use a friends buddy pass for half the cost but fly stand-by and take a risk? What would you do?? OR...do any of you have Delta Skymiles you'd like to transfer to us?

ANSWER to 19 - just loves it when God works it all out for you...and in ways you would never expect. The sister of a friend of mine just transferred 42,000 miles to us (for $480) which gave us 63,000 with Delta's 50% bonus. That gives us enough miles for TWO tickets to Russia for the lovely price of about $715!! The tickets are on hold until Friday while the miles are put into Jon's account. We leave next Friday...9 DAYS!

ANSWER to private prayers - made it to St. Pete! YAY! We are exhausted but trying to stay awake until a reasonable bedtime. Thankful we're not hitting Paris on our way home. But I guess Amsterdam won't necessarily be any better. VERY bumpy 2nd flight. My eyes weren't closed because I was sleeping...they were closed because I was praying for our lives!

ANSWER to private prayers - survived our medical visits today! SO GLAD THAT IS OVER!!!
20. continued from previous...Please pray we have our court date by February 18 (hopefully MUCH sooner) or we'll have to do some of that again.

ANSWER to 20 pending...

So. Do you see it? God's faithfulness was revealed over and over and over this year. Every time money was due for the adoption, we had it. Even when we thought we were $400 short in Russia, God was providing that $400 here in Georgia. It's amazing to me that we have spent about $15,000 so far and not one penny of it is debt! There is no reason for Jon and I NOT to believe that God will also provide the $16,500 we need in 2 weeks and the other $15,000 we need to bring Leanna home once and for all. He has proved time and time and time again that He will provide. I think (hope) that our lack of worry at this point is evidence that we have learned this lesson. I hope that the fact that we are sleeping soundly means that we have crossed this bridge and won't have to cross it again. Neither of us have been lying awake at night wondering and worrying about where we'll get this HUGE sum of money. We're both sleeping like babies. Like we haven't a care in the world.

I just finished reading God's Adventurer by Phyllis Thompson. It's a wonderful little biography about Hudson Taylor, a missionary in China. Throughout the book, Taylor makes many requests to God. And God responds each time. It's an incredibly inspiring book, especially when you feel like your prayer requests are just too big. One thing that spoke to me was towards the end when Hudson realizes that God is calling him to begin his own missionary society. Hudson feels the responsibility is just too great. Until he realizes that the burden is not on himself. "Oh, Lord, YOU shall have all the burden! I will go forward as Your servant, at Your bidding." With that prayer, Hudson's fear disappeared. He learned that whatever happened as a result of obeying God's voice was not his responsibility. 'All he had to do was go forward, asking God to send what was necessary...'

And so shall we. After reviewing all the ways that God answered our prayers this year (I didn't even share half of them here!), there is only one way to respond. With thankfulness and eager expectation of how He will answer our prayers this year. Beginning with the $16,500.

'Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.' Ephesians 3:20 & 21