Me and Moses

I have become a bit obsessed with Moses the past few weeks. Jon and I teach 6 - 8 year olds on Sunday mornings and we began Exodus last week. This week I've been preparing our lesson about the burning bush in Exodus 3 and 4. If you're not familiar with the story, Moses is 80 years old when God speaks to him through a bush that is on fire, but does not burn up. God tells Moses that he is to deliver the Israelites from slavery in Egypt. I am fascinated with Moses' response. Remember awhile ago when I talked about Mary and my admiration of her? The angel tells her that she will give birth to God Himself and her response is simply, "May it be to me as you have said." Well, Moses is not that easy to convince. First, he says, "Who am I that I should bring the Israelites out of Egypt?" Reminds me of myself in so many ways. How many times have I asked the Lord this past year, "Who am I to adopt an almost 15 year old girl and be her mom? What am I thinking? What are YOU thinking, God? Who am I to think I can do this?"

Who.

Am.

I?

God responds.

"I will be with you." Of course! That's it! It's not *I* who will be doing this. It is God.

Moses, on the other hand...oh, Moses. I understand so well. He is just full of what ifs and buts, much like myself. But she's almost 15! But we don't have the money! What about school? How is this going to work? What if I can't give her all she needs? What if she resents us for bringing her away from all she's ever known? What if the other 3 resent us for bringing Leanna here? What if she doesn't make friends? I could go on and on.

What gets me about Moses is that God answers each and every one of his what ifs and buts. God gives him clear direction and tells him EXACTLY what to do if each what if happens. We're talking very specific details here. God is not vague at all with Moses. He says over and over, "If this happens, do that. If that happens, do this." God even tells Moses exactly what to say. I would feel so much better if God would speak to me, no burning bush needed, and answer all of my what ifs. Here's how to raise the money. Here's what to do about school. Here's how it will work. If she resents you, do this. If the others resent you, say this. If she doesn't make friends, do that.

I am truly praying for some sort of burning bush conversation with God and that He will be very specific with me when Leanna comes home.

Well, apparently God's very clear instructions to Moses did not give him confidence that He could do the task God was asking of him. After going on and on with objections and receiving all the answers in Exodus 3:11 until 4:12 (that's 23 verses), Moses finally pleads, "O Lord, please send someone else to do it." I can hear his desperation. I can feel it. I think I have said those words myself. O Lord, please send someone else to be Leanna's mother. I am so inept. I cannot do it. Surely there is someone more qualified. Someone stronger. Someone better. Someone more pleasing to You. I am not patient enough. I am rebellious. I am lazy. I am scared. So scared. What if this doesn't work? What if she rejects me? What if she says she wants to go back to Russia? This task is enormous...what if I fail?

What

if

I

fail?

In the end, God sent Aaron, Moses' brother, to help him. But Moses still had challenges. He had big fears to face. God didn't tell him it was going to be easy, and it wasn't. It was far from easy. But for a long while (the rest of his life as far as I can tell), God told Moses exactly what to do and say. How I pray He does the same for me when Leanna comes home. The Israelites turned on Moses many times, over and over, saying things like, "May the Lord look upon you and judge you!" and "What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt?!" They stopped listening to him. They were ungrateful. They blamed him for all their trouble after the exodus from slavery. They argued with him. They rebelled. They were difficult.

Even with all the miracles they witnessed. I'm sorry, but I just don't understand how a group of people can be a part of things like this and still grumble and rebel. I would just be in awe. Like in Exodus 14, God drove back the Red Sea all night and divided the waters. The Israelites went through the sea on dry ground with a wall of water on their right and their left. Can you even imagine that? They complained of hunger so God rained down bread from heaven for them so they didn't starve. What a sight that must've been! They complained about wanting meat. God sent them quail. Without so much as a thank you, they complained about being thirsty. God told Moses to strike a rock and when he did, water poured from it for them to drink. Still no record of the Israelites being thankful.

That is the kind of people God told Moses to lead. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Okay, I guess I can see why Moses wanted someone else to do it. He had a clue (as do I) as to what God was really asking of him.

But through it all, Moses did not fail.

God was with Moses.

Through. It. All.

Every. Step. Of. The. Way.

God never left him.

The rebellion of the Israelites goes on and on for some time. I don't know how long, but I love what happens in Exodus 33. At this point, I think Moses would have good reason to throw in the towel. The people God told him to lead had become corrupt. After all they had seen up to this point, they quickly turned away from God and worshiped a golden calf. They bowed down to it and sacrificed to it. After they had seen the Lord's great power and mighty hand over and over and over. What were they thinking?! I'm sure Moses was running out of patience. I'm sure he was thinking something like, "See, Lord? I told you I couldn't do it! I've done everything You said to do and LOOK at them! I'm done. Finished. They're all Yours. See ya!" But just when Moses needed it, God revealed Himself. In verse 33:18 Moses says, "Now show me Your glory." Seems a bit bold, doesn't it? Moses demanding something from God like that? I can't help but wonder what was going through his head. Was it like, "Okay, I've done everything You've told me to do all these years. It's been hard. They've rejected me over and over. I'm tired. I'm empty. Now, what are You gonna do for me?" And do you know what the Lord does? I just love this!

Verse 19 says, "And He said, "I will make all my goodness pass before you and will proclaim before you my name 'The LORD.' "

All of God's goodness passed before Moses. WOW! I mean...wow! That probably made all the trouble worthwhile. I might add that right after this something finally clicked with the Israelites and they began listening to Moses and doing what he says without argument.

I can't help but wonder when my, "Show me Your glory" moment will happen. I know it will. It's inevitable. But how long will it take? What all will take place to drive me to that point? How many times will Leanna argue with me? How many times will she be difficult? Ungrateful. Rebellious.

Moses died at the age of 120. Deuteronomy 34:12 has some final words about him.

"For no one has ever shown the mighty power or performed the awesome deeds that Moses did in the sight of all Israel."

Doesn't sound like failure to me.