They Need to Know

Okay, it's been a few days and I know you all want to hear about Wednesday when we busted Vera out of the orphanage. I promise I will tell you all about it and post pictures. Getting Vera out of there was good and hard and amazing and heartbreaking and joyous. I'm sure it was all of these things and more for Vera.

But today I must write about something else. I can't go back to Wednesday until I share this. This is one of those posts that I'm sitting here thinking, "Should I really share this? What if it scares people away from adopting?" I have prayed about it and all I'm hearing is, "They need to know." I am not going to mince words, so be prepared. I am not going to sugar coat it. My hope and prayer is that this post will move you to ACT. I also hope to hear from those of you who have been, there done that...how can we help Vera through this? What worked for your child?

Self-soothing.

We had heard about it and read about it. Perhaps not enough. Vera was in a 'good' orphanage. Maybe I thought she wouldn't do it. I don't know. But I need to share this so you can picture it. I had heard about rocking and other behaviors orphans do to self-soothe. I guess I just didn't REALLY know what to expect.

So when you go to bed tonight I want you to lay on your back. Tilt your head back a little like someone is going to start CPR on you. Start swaying your head from right to left. Sway enough so that each of your ears touches the pillow and your shoulders lift up. As soon as we turn the light out, Vera starts doing this. It's immediate. She sucks the middle two fingers on her left hand. Then she'll stop sucking her fingers and start jerking her arms and kicking. I am in no way trying to be funny when I say it reminds me of the Elaine Dance from Seinfeld. I just watched this clip without sound (below) and this is it. Vera starts doing something very similar to this (while laying down) and her eyes roll back in her head.

Vera alternates between sucking her fingers and swaying her head and doing the above. The whole time, it's like Vera goes away. She gets an autistic look on her face. Two nights ago it took an hour and fifteen minutes for her to fall asleep. Last night it was a better night...only 45 minutes and less of the Elaine Dance. She does this routine at naptime too. Every time I watch her fall asleep, I cry. After the first time, I sobbed for an hour. It just breaks my heart to watch her go to another place. It breaks my heart to see Vera disappear. It breaks my heart.

Where does Vera go while she's self soothing? How many nights has she done this? How many more nights will she do it? Why didn't we come sooner? Vera didn't start walking until this past November...would Jon and I have come for her sooner knowing she couldn't walk? I don't have answers to these questions. Watching her fall asleep last night I thought about all the kids in her group. All the kids in her orphanage. All the orphans in this country and in Eastern Europe and the rest of the world. Do you know how many orphans there are? Depending on your source it's anywhere from 143,000,000 to 147,000,000. Did you catch all those zeros? How many of them fall asleep the way Vera does because no one is there to comfort them? No one is there to rock them or hold them close or rub their back or tell them they are loved. How did 'Allie' and 'Lisa' and Nice Girl fall asleep last night?

Friends, there are many more Vera's that need families. There are tens of millions of children putting themselves to sleep in similar ways because they're on their own. I am writing this to beg you to HELP! GET THESE KIDS OUT OF THE ORPHANAGES! Children do NOT belong in orphanages. There are so many ways you can do something to help. I know some of you will say you can't adopt and you have legitimate reasons. But that doesn't mean you can't help other families who are rescuing orphans. You can donate to their adoption funds and help them get their kids out of here. You can tell others to donate. You can advocate. I can tell you of at least 2 dozen families who are fundraising RIGHT NOW to come over here to rescue these kids. I never thought of Jon and I as rescuing Vera. We are not her saviors. Her life was not in danger...well, the institution would have killed her, but we will not get off the plane in Atlanta and head straight to the hospital like so many other families have done. She is not malnourished or dehydrated like so many other orphans here. But seeing how she falls asleep in her own little world has opened my eyes a little wider. This WAS a rescue mission. Vera has been rescued.

But what about all the others?

Now, to those of you who have always thought about adopting...to those of you wondering if you should...to those of you asking if now is the time...

NOW IS THE TIME!

DO IT!

DON'T WAIT ANOTHER MINUTE!

Don't let these precious ones continue like this.

Adoption matters! Adopting one child makes a difference.

Let this post move you to ACT! If we can do this, anyone can. There is nothing special about Jon or I. Don't think that adoption is for other people, stronger people, better people, richer people. That's what I used to think. It's a lie. The enemy wants to keep people from adopting because adoption is ALWAYS God's plan. If you are afraid, if you are making excuses, tell God and listen for His response. Listen to His heart. Read His word. PRAY and seek HIS will. When you choose to adopt, God will teach you things that He can only teach you through the adoption process. Are you saying 'no' to adoption because you've prayed about it and God is saying 'no'? Because if you're saying 'no' for any other reason, shame on you! These kids need families.

And by the way, have I told you how much I love this little girl? Sometimes I look at her and it seems like I gave birth to her. Just one of those amazing adoption things, I suppose.

Next time I'll fill you in about busting Vera out. Since Wednesday we have had many good, amazing moments. A few hard ones too, but the joy Vera brings us is powerful. As much as I hate to watch her fall asleep, Vera wakes up with a smile and giggle no matter how much sleep she's had. She is blessing us much more than we are blessing her.

I hate to think that so many people are missing out on the blessing of adoption simply because of stupid excuses. I am begging you to reevaluate your reasons for saying 'no' to adoption. Having been here and seen what I've seen, I honestly can't think of one good reason for anyone not to adopt.

As Nike would say, JUST DO IT!