The Pediatrician Review

It finally happened. All these years my homeschool friends have cautioned me to make sure I find a homeschool-friendly pediatrician. Well, I've never encountered an unhomeschool-friendly doctor and I really wondered what my friends were talking about. What's the big deal?

I get it now.

Part of our homestudy to adopt Leanna includes getting a letter for each of us from our doctors that basically says we're healthy, sane people. I was able to get appointments for all 3 kids last week. Of course, I had to find a new pediatrician since our former one got married and either moved out of the state or is no longer practicing medicine. I found a pediatrician in our insurance network who is located very close to us. Great! I usually have to drive about 30 minutes so I was very happy to find one within 10 minutes of our house.

Caleb was the first one to get checked out. His height and weight were good. Ears and hearing test were good. Blood pressure and pulse rate were good. Then the nurse asked where Caleb goes to school. "We homeschool." "Oh-h." You homeschoolers know the 'oh-h' I'm talking about. The disapproving 'sure you do' look says it all. The look we get when we're at the grocery store with our kids during school hours. The look we get when we take the kids for haircuts before school gets out to avoid the rush and they ask if it was an early release day. The look we get at the swimming pool on the first day of public school (one of our favorite pool days) and most moms are there celebrating that their kids are finally gone. Well, I think the nurse must've written HOMESCHOOLERS in big, black letters on Caleb's file. She left and we waited for the doctor. After a few minutes, the doctor came in, shook our hands, introduced herself and said, "So, you homeschool." It was not a question. It was a statement. A statement with no accompanying smile. A statement dripping with obvious disapproval. That's okay. I don't need everyone to agree with our decision to homeschool. I do, however, need this doctor to sign my piece of paper that says Caleb is healthy and lives in a home where a healthy lifestyle is promoted. Right off the bat I became a little nervous with this doctor, and I sat up a little straighter. Then came the questions. She asked Caleb question after question (which is fine...I have no problem with questions) which he answered slowly and quietly in typical Caleb fashion. The questions were very general...what do you eat for breakfast/lunch/dinner? Do you eat alot of sugary foods/drinks? How often do you eat fruits and vegetables? How much time per day do you spend watching TV/playing video games? How often do you get physical exercise? Etc. etc. If you're not familiar with APD (Auditory Processing Dysfunction), one of the aspects of it is that it takes a few seconds (sometimes minutes) longer to answer questions. Your brain takes a bit longer than normal to process the question, form an answer and speak it. What frustrated me is that she eventually quit waiting for his answers and would just move on to another question. Her conclusion was that since he 'wouldn't' answer her questions he must've thought the answers weren't what she wanted to hear. So she turned to me and let me know (with that 'so-what-are-you-teaching-him-at-home' overtone) that the American Pediatric Association is now recommending 5 servings of fruits and vegetables each day, no more than 2 hours of screen time (TV, video games, computer) per day, 1 hour of physical activity each day and zero sugary drinks like soda and fruit juice. So, I politely told her that we do eat lots of fruit (although we can improve in the veggie area...we've never eaten 5 servings a day...more like 1 or 2), he rarely gets more than 2 hours of screen time a day and we don't even have video games, he does get more than 1 hour of physical activity most days (if it's not raining, the kids are usually outside all afternoon...even when it's 20 degrees out) and we don't buy soda or juice unless someone is sick. Even when we eat out, water is the drink of choice for all of us. And then I mentioned the APD and asked her if she was familiar with it. She said she's no expert but she did know about it. So I told her about Caleb and that although he hasn't yet been screened for it (because I need a referral), I believe that's what he has and that's why he was slow to answer her questions. So she told me that an APD screening would just test his hearing and they already did that and his hearing is fine. She then gave me her recommendation that I won't go into now because just thinking about it angers me. I know, I need to let it go. She spent all of 15 minutes with Caleb. I've been with him for over 10 years. I told her (still politely) that screening for APD is actually a 3 hour long battery of tests that does not include a hearing test...before you can get screened for it, your hearing must have already been checked and okayed. I've done much reading about this and although I'm no expert either, at least I knew that much. She eased up a bit and told me that she'd give me the referral if I really wanted it but she didn't think it was necessary.

So then we moved on to Abbi. Same drill. Height, weight, blood pressure, pulse rate, hearing and vision all good. Questioning went well. Abbi answered everything the way Caleb would have had he been given a chance. She was able to tell the doctor everything I mentioned above. While I sat silently wanting to scream "WE LIVE A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE! Sure, we can improve in some areas, but who can't?!" Then the doctor (same one for all 3 kids) asked Abbi if she knew about puberty. Abbi looked at her blankly which prompted the doctor to ask if she'd heard that word before. I told the doctor we hadn't discussed any of that yet, thinking that was code for, "and I'd rather you didn't discuss it with her right now." To my amazement, the doctor proceeded to begin to tell Abbi some things she could expect soon. I interrupted and told the doctor that *I* would have that discussion when I felt Abbi was ready for it. I'm watching for signs. I'm not stupid. I know she's 1o and things will be starting in the next couple of years. Then the doctor began to recommend a book for me to use with Abbi. I interrupted her and said, "You mean The Care and Keeping of You? Yes, that's what I plan to read with her. When. She's. Ready." I wanted to chuckle when the look of surprise crossed the doctor's face because I was familiar with and plan to use that book. Maybe I'm not such an idiot after all!

Honestly, after this, it was running through my mind that I should just grab my kids and leave. But we were already there and I still needed the doctor to sign my papers for our homestudy. So...then it was Jacob's turn. Height, blood pressure, pulse rate, hearing and vision were good. Weight...not so much. He's officially in the 'overweight' category. Which was no surprise to me. He's a big kid. He enjoys food. I wouldn't say he overeats though. Well, maybe a little. But he doesn't eat junk food. And he does get lots of physical exercise, so I've never been worried. Jon and I are just waiting for him to shoot up, which I imagine will happen very soon. Jon was a bit overweight too during puberty and then he shot up and thinned out. I imagine Jacob will do the same. So, the doctor comes in and goes right to Jacob. She says, "Before I begin, Jacob, would you like your mom to leave the room?" I'm sorry? I must be hallucinating. Did you just ask what I think you just asked? Stunned, I said, "I'll be staying in the room with Jacob." The doctor looked me straight in the eye and said, "That is Jacob's decision." To which I replied, "Jacob is 12. I am his mother and I'm staying in the room." To which she replied, "Not if he doesn't want you to." With an almost evil little smile she looked back at Jacob and asked him again if he wanted me to leave the room while I (figuratively) rolled up my sleeves and prepared to go toe to toe with this woman. If you know Jacob, you know that he is one of the most laid back, easy going kids ever. He looked at the doctor, smiled, shrugged his shoulders and said, "It's okay if she stays." I sat back in my chair. She asked him all the same questions and he happily answered them. She checked him all out and recommended he get lab work done to check his blood sugar and also for diabetes. I already knew that was coming and we scheduled that visit, which was yesterday. Then, the moment of truth came. I handed her my papers and asked if she would fill them out for me. She took them and left the room while Jacob got dressed. I sat their worrying about what she was going to write. Leanna's future with us was in the hands of this one doctor. If she wrote negative things, we'd have to start all over with another pediatrician. I was quite relieved when the nurse returned with all 3 letters. Each one gave favorable opinions and said that the kids were healthy and that a 'healthy lifestyle is promoted in the home.' Thank goodness! It wasn't all for nothing!

When we got home that day, I was checking email and couldn't believe the first thing I read. In an update from Parental Rights, it said, "In Minnesota, “Jaime” was shocked to learn she needed her 11-year-old daughter’s permission to access the daughter’s medical records or contact a physician about the girl’s health. The doctor hides behind a federal law as the justification for his action. “Lisa” in Colorado learned that “to protect the privacy” of a 9-year-old’s library records, government librarians refused to tell her what books her child had checked out (even though Lisa was being asked to pay the over-due book fine) – an experience shared by “Nicole” in Maryland.

Parents of 5-year-olds shouldn’t have to fight a doctor or dentist, because of federal privacy law, for the right to remain present while their child undergoes an examination or receives care. Yet we have received letters from “Megan” in California and from several others in different states who have faced just such a challenge.

These examples demonstrate the urgent need for the Parental Rights Amendment (PRA). Governments have an ever-increasing view of their power to deal directly with children in exclusion of the parent."

Friends, I urge you to visit www.parentalrights.org today and educate yourselves about what's going on in our nation. There is no time to waste!

As for me, I am now on the hunt for a homeschool friendly pediatrician. Any recommendations?